Giving Feedback Without Being a Jerk

Providing feedback is not a ‘check-the-box’ activity. It’s a critical activity for managers to help individuals and teams perform at their best.

It can be a dreaded conversation, especially for new managers. When done well, giving meaningful feedback can not only improve performance, but also build trust and strengthen relationships.

I wonder… have you ever received feedback about something that helped you improve your work, be a better coworker, or even a better human? Then you know how important it is to get feedback.

In my “Feedback for Results” course, I present the “Results-Driven Feedback Formula”.

Step #2 of this 4-step formula is to state the impact of the behavior that you’d like to see change. For example, if someone is consistently missing deadlines, the impact may be that the client is not getting the results promised in the contract. The impact of that is a decreased level of trust from this long-standing client. And the domino effect of that lowered trust is that they don’t renew their contract. Ouch.

Telling someone, “We need to get this done on time” is not as effective as, “When we submit reports late to the client, it lowers their trust. If that trust diminishes, we risk losing this long-standing client and X% of our revenue”. Stating the impact of the impact makes a more compelling statement.

As you know, it’s important to pay attention to *how* you say something, not just the words you use.  For instance, a supportive tone that conveys genuine belief in the person’s desire to do their best work tends to yield more positive results than a tone that suggest, “We’ve been over this 100 times”, which sounds like a jerk.

In a fast-paced work environment, it’s tempting to say the first words that come to mind. However, taking just a couple of minutes to choose productive words is well worth it. By stating the impact and the domino effect of unwanted behaviors, you shift the conversation from blame to future results.

Ready to bring this training to your company? Contact me to get started.